Many things can take place in school to make a child unhappy. Feeling as if a teacher is picking on her, not being able to keep up with the class in her schoolwork, feelings of self-consciousness, or dealing with bullying are just a few of the culprits. Not all children will speak up and address their feelings or situations, so it’s up to the parents to look for signs that something isn’t right. You will find below 4 signs your child is unhappy at school and how to find out why.

Behavior

A child’s behavior can say a lot about their emotional well-being. If a child normally behaves well at school or at home and suddenly begins to get in trouble with teachers or her parents, it may indicate that something in her life has changed. On the other hand, if a child is normally quiet or timid and suddenly becomes hyper or nervous, it may be sign of something amiss. She may appear angry, aggressive, or moody. These also may be signs of puberty, so taking into account the child’s age is important, too. These behaviour changes shouldn’t be assumed to be puberty-related, however.

Silence

When asked how school was or how a particular subject was, a child who is unhappy at school may refuse to talk about it. He may be quiet in the classroom, as well, refusing to ask or answer questions. He may be afraid of confrontation with a teacher or a bully if he says anything. This can often point to problems he’s facing when being ridiculed for answering questions wrong, or feeling as if he’s not intelligent because he doesn’t know the answers. While it’s common for kids to pick on each other for making mistakes in the classroom, it can be extremely embarrassing for some children, forcing them to not even try.

Physical signs

When things are really bad at school, some kids begin to exhibit physical signs such as thumb sucking or bed wetting, nail biting, or stomach issues such as vomiting or diarrhea. The child may experience headaches or changes in appetite and weight. These symptoms may be present during the wee, but subside over the weekend or a long school break. It’s important that these signs are not ignored if the other, more mild symptoms were. Physical signs present themselves when a person cannot emotionally handle the problems they are facing, and may lead to serious problems such as dehydration.

Complaining

Many children will be vocal about issues at school even if they are not coming right out and saying what’s wrong. These children may continually complain about school or how the teacher hates them or how much they hate a student at school. They may groan daily about having to do math or reading. Ignoring these statements as being something all kids do could be a mistake.

Finding answers

Ask the child why they feel the teacher hates her or why she dislikes the student in question so much. Investigate, ask the teacher about the child and her school work or whether she’s seen any signs of bullying. Find out from others how the child behaves in school. If problems continue or become worse, talk to a physician about the situation. He may rule out any physical problems that could be causing the symptoms or suggest therapy for the child to determine the actual cause.

As a parent, it is a continual obligation to play detective. Children don’t always talk to their parents about their problems because they want to handle it themselves. They may feel that involving the parent may make the situation worse; however, a child should feel safe in school and not torn apart for what they cannot do. Bullying, from anyone, should not be tolerated. Read the signs your child is unhappy at school and investigate to find the reasons why they are there!

From sharing with their siblings to respecting their elders, there’s a lot you need to teach your kids as they grow up, and doing it during that early stage is super important, because that’s when their minds are the most vulnerable and susceptible to change. One important life lesson for children is to learn the art of giving. Keep reading to discover 5 ways to help your children learn the art of giving.

1. Make Birthdays Charitable

One of the simplest and earliest ways to introduce charity and the idea of giving to your children is to make their birthdays a bit different. Pick a local charity or an organization that would allow you to arrange for a birthday celebration there, and plan one! You can also raise money to buy a birthday gift for a child in need or ask for money at his birthday that will then be donated towards a charity. Not only will it be a memorable one, but it’ll also make your little one realize how fortunate he is, and how giving back to the community is important too.

2. Set an Example Yourself

Children tend to mimic what their parents do, and while it is a good thing in itself, we tend to silently hate it. You can introduce your children to the concept of giving in no better way than doing it yourself. The more you give it importance, the more your children will understand its importance too.

3. Help them Feel the Need

This one’s super important as the more your kids understand the need of those less fortunate ones around them, the more they’ll be able to develop the quality of compassion, and the more they will be able to take up the initiative to give back to the their community and society.

4. Get them to See the Impact

Studies have found that the more children are able to see the impact of their acts of generosity and giving on others, the more they will be encouraged to take part in more such acts, and that makes total sense. Make it a point to take your little ones out once in a while and encourage them to be a part of the donation drive rather than just donating a part of their pocket money or giving away their old toys for the sake of it. Introduce them to the real process behind it all.

5. Let them Choose

One of the most powerful ways to encourage any kind of good behaviour in your child is to let him make a choice, and you can do the same here as well. Introduce your child to a number of different charities, causes, and organizations where he could contribute, and let him choose from among them. Plan out a time and day every week or month where he could spend his time there or work his way to contributing to the cause he has picked.

Helping your kids develop the quality of helping and giving back to the less fortunate ones around them is not just tricky, but also crucial, and that’s exactly why we’re here to help with these 5 ways to help your children learn the art of giving!

Come September, about three of every four families under the Ottawa Carleton District School Board (OCDSB) and the Ottawa Catholic School Board (OCSB) are expected to send their kids for in person learning at school. It is an important and welcome step for all. My granddaughter moving to grade two cannot wait to get back to school, especially to play with her classmates! This article provides some tips on preparing your kids for back to school during COVID.

Most kids will be returning to school after nearly 5 months since March. That will take some getting used to. From worksheets and virtual sessions from inside the comforts of home to now learning in-person. Usual back-to-school flurries of a new teacher and perhaps new classmates as well.

How school environment will be different during COVID?

Further, the school environment will be different given COVID adjustments. Play and social interactions at school will be restricted. Limited access to playground, structures, gym, and library. Kids may miss some of their friends who opt for remote learning instead of being in person. Friends outside the immediate classroom will not be accessible. They will certainly miss a number of out-of-school activities such as sports or birthday parties. Some kids, school bus drivers, and school staff will be in masks, which may seem strange.

Going back to school is good, but parents need to be aware that kids are not returning to the usual, pre-COVID environment. Younger kids will not have spent as much energy at school and will want to do more physically when they get back home. Limited social interactions may disappoint some kids that school is not as fun as it used to be. Some may even be scared and stressed with the restrictions and new procedures.

Thankfully, parents can support their kids in this ‘new’ normal by planning, being flexible and proactive. Following are some suggestions for families to keep in mind.

Make a ‘COVID’ back-to-school plan and role-play

Kids feel reassured when they know what plans are in place and what changes to expect. Talk with your kids about what might be different. How will the classroom look like? How about lunch and recess? Which activities will not be there? Walking through the specifics can give your kids something concrete to hold onto. Practicing different scenarios ahead of time is a good way to give kids a sense a control. Give extra support to your child at home by creating a routine around school and schoolwork.

Few points to factor in your plan:

1. Ingrain hand washing or sanitizing at every transition of the day. It sounds easy enough, but try to ingrain in your child’s head the importance of cleaning their hands whenever they leave home, arrive at school, and enter the classroom
2. Invest in a mask with ‘superpowers’. Buy a washable cloth face covering that expresses your child’s personality – after all, they will be wearing it for a long time. Perk of ditching the disposable mask is preventing an unfortunate mix-up with other students’ masks. For younger kids struggling with wearing masks, help them feel more comfortable with the idea by making it into a fun game. One idea is to say, “Your mask gives you superpowers, so you want to make sure to keep it on all the time. And if you touch your face or touch someone else, that reduces your power.”
3. Have your child shower when they come home. Switch their normal shower or bath time by bathing and changing their clothes right when they return from school
4. Talk to your kids about what to do if they do not feel safe or other kids are not following the rules. They should know that they could talk to the teacher or tell you if that happens
5. Tell your kids, “If anything changes, we will work as a team to come up with a new plan. We will figure out together to keep you learning and connecting with other people while keeping you safe.”

Monitor, stay informed, and adapt!

Kids are resilient by nature, but parents can model that resilience too. Being flexible, adapting to change, and focusing on the positive are all important life skills to have, and COVID is a great teaching moment for developing those skills. 

It is possible that schools will change procedures, depending on the local context. Because of the evolving situation, parents will need to be flexible and ready to adapt.

Find out how to stay in touch with your children’s teacher or school to stay informed, ask questions, and get more guidance. Also, let them know if your child is facing specific challenges, like heightened anxiety due to the pandemic. Parent or community groups can also be a good way to stay informed. 

Try to be flexible and forgiving with your children and yourselves. This year is going to be harder for everyone: kids, parents, teachers, and schools. The goals we want to achieve may change as the year passes.

Listen to your child

Encourage your children to ask questions and express their feelings with you. Remember that your child may have different reactions to stress, so be patient and understanding. Continue to create a supportive and nurturing environment and respond positively to questions and expressions of their feelings. Drawing, stories, family games, and other activities may help to open a discussion. Show support and let your child know that it is not only okay, but also normal, to feel frustrated, or anxious at times like this. 

Try not to minimize or avoid their concerns. Be sure to acknowledge their feelings and assure them that it is natural to feel scared about these things. Demonstrate that you are listening by giving them your full attention, and make sure they understand that they can talk to you and their teachers whenever they like.

Stay centred to better handle stress

The new learning environment may stress kids. New rules may force you to change plans and reset expectations stressing you, the parent. Important for the family to stay centred to be in a better position to handle stress.

1. Positive relationships with parents is a key driver of social and emotional development of kids. Spending quality time together builds positive relationships. Joint family activities such as cooking, reading, or games are some places to start
2. Join a parent or community group to connect with other parents who are going through the same experience to share tips and get support
3. Incorporate play in to learning. The Ontario government shares some great resources and my favourite on the list is for K-3.
4. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness improves executive function, attention, and emotional control. Will help lower stress, especially for children with any learning disabilities. These 5 mindfulness activities for the classroom can also be applied at home.
5. Find joy by helping others. The pandemic is stressing the financial and emotional state of many families. Find an avenue to support and channel your family’s efforts. Raising money via homemade cards and other crafts is an example.

Additional resources for parents:

1. Until August 31, 2020, parents can apply for direct one-time funding to offset the cost of buying materials to support their children’s learning, while they practice self-isolation and physical distancing. 
2. CHEO’s Back to School During COVID-19: Tips for Parents and Caregivers
3. Read Ottawa Public Health’s Resources for Supporting Schools During the Pandemic

As an educator, I am looking forward to welcoming kids back to school in September. Parents have done a great job since schools have gone virtual since March. I am positive that with the right planning and mindset, they will help young learners fare well in the new learning environment.

About the author

Dr. Rashida Suleman lives in Ottawa and is the Principal of a private K-12 school. Since 1979, she has been an educator with experience in International Baccalaureate (IB), Canadian, American, British and Indian curricula. She is passionate about facilitating holistic learning and finding innovative learning methods. She can be contacted at drrashidasuleman@gmail.com.