In today’s fast-paced world, it’s common for parents to want to provide their children with every opportunity possible to learn, grow, and excel. From sports teams and music lessons to coding classes and academic enrichment programs, the list of structured activities available for kids seems endless. While these activities can certainly offer valuable benefits, there’s an ongoing debate about whether too much structure and scheduling can actually be detrimental to a child’s development.
Structured Activities for Kids
I will begin explaining my own experiences with structured activities. My daughter, Mary, participates in more structured activities than I do. Over her lifespan, she’s completed multiple sessions of Monkey Rock, swimming and gymnastics. She has also benefited from semi-regular attendance of library programs and Brinkeetos. While I was on maternity leave, we both looked forward to weekly playgroup. And I am probably even forgetting a few things…
As a mom am I Overscheduling Activities?
Somehow, I’ve become the mom that over-schedules her kid and lives to regret it. Mary seems to be having a blast, but Mommy is wondering where the weekend went.* Sundays (which should really be legally enforced as a day of rest for everyone) are all Mary now. In the morning, I take her to gymnastics, where she runs and tumbles with her friend Liam. At just two-years-old, Mary is one of the youngest in the class and doesn’t always follow instructions. Last week, her teacher called her a “little troublemaker” when she ran off and interrupted some of the older kids during their routines. He was joking. I am pretty sure anyway…
We don’t often last the full hour of gymnastics—though Liam will usually listen and hold out for the reward of a sticker from the teacher, Mary isn’t so easily bought. She wants to run, explore and join the older kids. Inevitably, all the running off, mixed with sporadic attempts at the routines the teacher has laid out for her cause her to tire out. A few times she’s simply stretched out on the ground or a mat and said she was “going to sleep”. So, usually I pack her up and she happily heads home for lunch about 20 minutes before the class ends.
We go home for lunch, she has a nap and then it’s time to gear up for swimming lessons. Swimming lessons seem to be a favourite. She wants to put her bathing suit on at least an hour in advance. But swimming lessons follow a similar rhythm—she wants to do her “own thing” rather than demonstrate a variety of skills in the order the teacher asks her for them. Last week, she insisted on doing things “all by herself” and surprised me by tucking her floaties under her arms and swimming over to the instructor. Unfortunately, his back was turned and he missed her attempt to show off for him.
Later though, he did see her screaming at the top of her lungs while she tried to scale the side of the pool in an attempt to get out and to the slide. So, he promptly brought the whole class to the next station —where the slide was. I didn’t know if I should be mortified or grateful. When we got to that location, I did let Mary use the slide, but only after she practiced her “kicks” —what she’d refused to do while trying to escape the big pool.
So, what are kid’s structured activities supposed to be like? What is the purpose for parent and child? Are these activities and the strict rules and expectations too much for a 2-year-old?
The Potential Downsides of Overscheduling
While the benefits of structured activities are clear, there’s a growing concern that many children today are simply doing too much. Overscheduling activities can lead to a variety of issues, including:
Stress and Burnout
When kids have jam-packed schedules with little downtime, the constant pressure to perform and excel can become overwhelming. This can lead to high levels of stress, anxiety, and even burnout, putting their mental and physical health at risk.
Lack of Free Play and Unstructured Time
In the quest to maximize a child’s potential, many parents inadvertently rob them of the essential free time needed for imaginative play, independent exploration, and simply “being a kid.” This unstructured time is crucial for a child’s cognitive, social, and emotional development.
Family Strain
Shuttling kids from one activity to the next, often with conflicting schedules, can put a significant strain on families. Parents may struggle to find quality time to connect with their children and tend to other important responsibilities.
Narrowed Interests and Passions
When children are pressured to excel at multiple activities, they may not have the opportunity to truly explore their unique interests and discover their true passions. This can lead to a sense of being stretched too thin and a lack of genuine engagement.
Increased Risk of Injury
The physical demands of certain structured activities, combined with a lack of rest and recovery time, can increase a child’s risk of overuse injuries. This is especially true for young athletes who participate in the same sport year-round.
Finding the Right Balance
So, how can parents strike the right balance and ensure their child’s schedule isn’t becoming too packed? Here are some tips:
Start with Your Child’s Interests
Rather than signing your child up for a wide range of activities, begin by identifying their natural interests and talents. Encourage them to explore activities they’re genuinely excited about, rather than ones you think they “should” be doing.
Set Realistic Limits
Decide on a reasonable number of structured activities per week, taking into account your child’s age, energy level, and other commitments. For younger children, experts generally recommend no more than 1-2 activities per day, with ample free time in between.
Build in Downtime
Make sure your child’s schedule includes plenty of unstructured time for free play, relaxation, and family bonding. This could mean setting aside specific evenings or weekends with no scheduled activities.
Prioritize Sleep and Self-Care
Ensure your child is getting the recommended amount of sleep for their age and building in time for healthy habits like exercise, nutritious meals, and stress-relieving activities.
Communicate and Adjust as Needed
Regularly check in with your child to gauge their anxiety and stress levels and overall well-being. If they seem overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to adjust their schedule or drop certain activities, even if it means missing out on an opportunity.
Set Boundaries with Extracurricular Providers
Don’t be afraid to push back against unreasonable demands or expectations from coaches, instructors, or activity organizers. Your child’s health and happiness should be the top priority.
In today’s fast-paced, achievement-oriented world, it’s easy for parents to get caught up in the trap of overscheduling their children. While structured activities can offer numerous benefits, it’s crucial to find the right balance and ensure kids have ample time for free play, relaxation, and family connection.
As for me, I view Mary’s activities as a fun outing for mother and daughter and an attempt to teach Mary about structure and introduce her to a variety of skills. But maybe that’s a rosy-coloured view of the real situation—that I sign my daughter up for lots of activities because she does enjoy herself and I am not sure how to spend time with a two-year-old (can I conjure up something equally as interesting for her at home?). Maybe I need to dial back on structured activities and just look for my inner kid.
*P.S. I know there are lots of sports parents who spend all weekend at the arena and/or on the basketball court, soccer field, etc., perhaps you can share some tips on keeping a balance!
Thanks for this article, I also have a 2 year old who loves to run around in gymnastics and does not want to follow the series of activities the instructor requires. I wish there were more options for us to expose our toddlers to these activities without the structure. My daughter would just enjoy and hour of free play but drop in sessions are rare as these companies want us to feel like our kids are being taught. What is answer?
Trying to find that balance of exposing them to enough while not overscheduling them is a challenge for sure.
I figure one can’t overestimate how much a kid is learning and skills they’re gaining without structured instruction. They’re in exploring mode and learn by doing.
We do lessons sometimes, but often it’s the case like you said, where we’re trying to make sure he’s paying attention. To get out and try things, we instead go to the Preschool swims, gymnastics drop-ins, Early Learning Resource Centre drop-ins, playdates and just time to “dig around in dirt” or climb at the playground (at least once upon a time when it was nice out). It works better when they can decide what to get into.
I figure in a few years’ time, we’ll have a good idea of where his real interests are, and then it’ll feel more worthwhile to pay an instructor.
HI Tara, for free range gymnastics without the structure, Starr Gymnastics has drop in sessions where they can run amok and play with any/all equipment for an hour. The staff is there to supervise only – making sure everyone is safe and that the parents aren’t using the equipment. 😉 You’d be surprised how often THAT happens…;)
I attended a Public Health session at playgroup for determining where your child should be developmentally in relation to their age, and I was surprised to learn that by the age of three they should be listening 50% of the time. So needless to say, if your child is enjoying herself I wouldn’t worry about it how much she listens to the instructor. 🙂
I believe it’s good to have a balance of structured and unstructured play. When my kids were little, they participated in a couple of structured activities per week and then the rest of the play was unstructured. Sometimes we went to playgrounds, library play groups of just invited other kids over to play.
Thanks for raising these important issues. I think back to when I was a child and I remember some of the most valuable, rewarding learning came out of spontaneous activities that I did because they were interesting to me. My parents were great in that respect, not enrolling me in too many structured activities.
Thanks for the comments everyone! For those that like “drop-ins” -we’ve enjoyed Brinkeetos in Kanata as an alternative at times to a regular gymnastics program and a fun location for a “playdate”.
I am looking forward to more chances to encourage Mary’s exploration and outdoor free play now that it looks like winter may finally be over! 🙂
These are important issues,I believe some children need more structured activities than others.