The breakdown of a long-term relationship is among the most devastating realities that a lot of people have to go through. And this holds true in Canada, the US, and even the rest of the world. While it’s not necessarily bad, a breakup is still a significant event that triggers strong emotional reactions from those involved (the partners themselves) and those who are just caught in the circumstance (their children).
But there are steps that the partners can take to keep the breakup as easy as possible for their kids. In this article, some of these steps are presented.
Treat the former partner with dignity, even in their absence
More often than not, the kids of a separating couple are emotionally attached to both parents. Because of this, bad-mouthing the former partner in their absence is not going to help. This will only increase the stress in an already tense situation, and it might even make it worse.
In some cases, the incessant attacks of one parent on another can result in kids feeling guilty about still loving the parent who is continually loathed by the one that they live with. It will be for the best if both partners treat each other with respect even if they are not in each other’s presence. This sends the idea that the kids do not have to choose between the two, and that they still have the support of both parents, especially when times get rough. Moreover, treating your former partner with dignity, even in their absence, helps maintain your own sense of self-respect. When you behave in a dignified and respectful way, you can feel good about yourself and your actions.
Get good divorce lawyers
Before a divorce is finalized, details have to be ironed out. The division of any conjugal properties must be talked about thoroughly and an agreement has to be reached. The schedule of child visits has to be finalized as well. Some couples might find it too difficult to talk about these things with each other. Oftentimes, these couples end up hurting each other in the process.
In such cases, it’s best if both partners decide to just get good family lawyers and let them do the talking. This way, they are spared from the emotional turmoil that prolonged exposure to the former partner can bring.
Now what makes a good family lawyer? Aside from having a strong academic background, a good family law expert has years of experience under their belt. Look for a family lawyer in your area, or ask for recommendations from friends and family.
Be in the company of supportive people
No one can deny the importance of social support in day-to-day life. Friends and family are just the people that effectively lessen the impact of distressing events such as breakups. Because of this, it’s important for the partners to take care of themselves by accepting the support of friends and family members.
It can be complicated and emotionally challenging to go through a breakup, and it’s understandable that you might be looking for support during this time. If friends and family members are unavailable at this time, one option you might consider is joining a support group specifically for people who are going through a breakup or dealing with the end of a relationship.
These groups can provide a safe and supportive space to talk about your feelings, share your experiences, and receive emotional support from others who are going through similar challenges. They can also be a great way to connect with others who may be able to offer advice or perspective based on their own experiences.
You can find a breakup support group in your local area by searching online, contacting a local mental health organization or counselling centre, or asking your healthcare provider for recommendations. They can include in-person groups, online groups, and phone or video-based groups. Some are run by trained therapists or counsellors, while others are informal peer support groups.
While it’s true that the unfolding of events is difficult for the children, the partners also have to honestly acknowledge that the whole process is difficult for them too. It’s not bad to seek help and assistance. Doing so is not a sign of weakness, it’s a natural part of being human. And it’s important to pay attention to it, so that there won’t be pent up resentment that can eventually affect them being parents to their children.
It is impossible to fully shield the kids from the impact of a divorce, but making the impact less felt by the kids is attainable. Hoping these specific steps will help you!
I could never imagine life without both parents, but many of my friends had to deal with that growing up. My best friends especially. It was hard at first, but luckily everybody stayed friends and they had lots of extra love!
It’s definitely tough on all involved, but yes extra love all around for sure!
This is o important! Kids shoudn’t have to be involved in adult issues.
I am not a product of divorce but I did lose my parents early in adulthood. The loss can be tremendous at times. Having support is the best thing. Remembering you are loved.
For sure it’s hard on the kids, lots to think about at times like this.
I can imagine all the heartache kids feel when having to deal with so much.
Kids suffer much when parents split up, protecting children is very important, somethimes they do not show how much they struggle and hurt.