What Would You Do

| May 5, 2013 | 13 Comments

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What would you do if you heard an adult tell a 4 year old child that they would always be ugly and that no one would ever love them?

What would you do if you saw an older kid push a grade one student in front of a car?

What would you do if you heard kids saying mean things about another kid because they were poor?

What would you do if you saw a kid being punched and kicked on a bus?

What would you do if you saw someone holding a terrified girl under water?

What would you do if you saw a teen pull a knife on another teen?

What would you do if you saw a teenager cutting themselves?

What would you do if you saw a teenager slowly wasting away because they believed that by not eating they would be skinnier and somehow more lovable?

What would you do if you saw a teenager trying to swallow a bottle of pills?

What would you do if you saw a man strangling a girl, beating her head against a wall, saying “die bitch” ?

What would you do if you didn’t just observe these things happening to someone else but you experienced them?

These are some of my memory flashes that over time flash a little less.

I grew up feeling that I was a mistake. That I didn’t deserve to be on this planet. I never felt that I fit in anywhere.

Four year old children should not be wishing they’d never been born. Wishing they were dead. Just because it hurts so much and they don’t know how to make the pain inside go away. No child should wish that. No adult should.

This is why I support The Kids Help Phone. It’s 24/7 confidential & anonymous. Walk So Kids Can Talk, Canada’s largest walk in support of child and youth mental health and wellness, is happening on Sunday, May 5th.

Kids as young as four are reaching out for the Kids Help Phone. As adults we sometimes think of the fears of children as silly. We forget what it was like to be that age. Or sometimes we are still battling our own inner demons and we can not cope with theirs.

Things only changed for me when I started gaining self-confidence and standing up for myself. After my own children were born. As long as children have low self-esteem, they will feel like victims.

We can not force anyone to change their behaviours but we can change ours. We can be an inspiration. An example. We can lift others up and help them find their own voice. We can give them the support they need to be strong. We can love one another and lookout for one another.

The Kids Help Phone employs professional counsellors to listen and help children. Encouragement. A caring voice. Someone to help them feel they are worthy of Love.

I am very open with my two daughters who are 10 and 14. But I have posted the phone number and website for the Kids Help Phone on our fridge, just in case they are ever uncomfortable addressing something with me. I also want them to share it with any peers who may experience difficult challenges.

The heart ache I attracted because of unhealed childhood haunts almost cost my children their Mother. My daughters are my inspiration. They helped me learn to love myself. They helped me find the courage to heal, help others and believe that anything is possible.

www.kidshelpphone.ca

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Category: Family, Kids, Living, Non-Profit, Teens

About the Author ()

How do you rebuild your life after family trauma and during mental health challenges when you feel your grip on hope is slipping? Katherine Dines is on the infinite journey of happiness and learning to thrive with forgiveness & gratitude. Katherine Dines is a Mother and voice actor, based in Canada's Capital, with international credits on projects including Hasbro's Tropical Tycoon Monopoly & Warner Brothers' Friends DVD Trivia Game. Juggling the demands of single parenting since 2002, Katherine is currently sharing her passions on the airwaves of Majic 100.3 FM Radio while navigating opportunities to express through film, tv & internet projects. Love, laughter & inspiring music rank at the top with love for her daughters motivating her enthusiasm for self discovery and healing.

Comments (13)

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  1. Charlene says:

    I was a child who was bullied and I was so depressed that I wish I was never born, it’s difficult to get a child the help they need. They feel that nothing matters and nothing is going to help. Unfortunately I didn’t get help til I was older. If you have a child that is depressed and doesn’t feel like life is worth living,is a child who needs professional help. I know as a parent we think we can give them what they need but sometimes we can’t. As far as seeing someone being bullied I would open my mouth and say something.

  2. Gloria Walshver says:

    If I saw a child being bullied I’d open my mouth.parents are not supposed to berate kids especially in front of others.

  3. Gloria Walshver says:

    Children need a reason to be happy and not depressed about certain problems that bother them a lot. If a parent notices it, speak to them if not get help.

  4. Kathy Smart says:

    wow
    As I read this I still have tears in my eyes- the screen is blurry
    Katherine- the bravery it took to write this- you are so brave.
    It makes sense as anyone who meets you will feel there in a gentle strength
    in you- the kind that can move mountains.
    YOU are a gift to this world and I am so happy you were born!
    Thank you for sharing these painful memories and sharing-
    True Freedom can only be felt by those that know what a prison feels like.
    Freedom comes from truth-
    thank you Katherine for speaking yours to us

    • Lyne Proulx says:

      I was speechless when I read this post for a review. Kathy, you wrote what I wanted to tell her, but just couldn’t come around to saying it. I’m still shaking my head by this. How can a parent say this to her child….. My heart goes to you Katherine. By writing this blog, it will help you free yourself from the past and the hurt. I took a lot out of you to share this, and I am thankful you did.

  5. The UpSide says:

    “We cannot force anyone to change their behaviours but we can change ours.” I love this quote. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story and in doing so, helping others. No one should ever feel like they don’t have someone to talk to – thank goodness for Kids Help Phone.

  6. Katherine Dines says:

    Thank-You for the feedback. I deeply appreciate the positive encouragement. I’ve barely slept since posting this. It feels like being naked in front of the world. I only shared what I was ready to share. I realized during my darkest hours of anxiety and depression that reading the stories of other women who triumphed over their own challenges, helped inspire me to keep going. I wanted to create a better life for my daughters.
    To clarify, my Mother passed away when I was four months old. The hateful words spoken to me at four years of age were from a male acquaintance of my family. That is one of my most vivid memories. My conscious mind can stand tall and know that does not define me as an adult. It’s the subconscious mind that clings to it. It’s that little girl still inside who allowed herself to believe this. This has helped a lot. Thank-you. Infinite gratitude. 🙂 Hugs, K

  7. Carolyn Snell says:

    Katherine….what a journey you have been on. I am so grateful to have shared some of it with you. Reading this brought me to tears. Thank you for all the love and kindness you bring to the world!!

  8. Lubna Sadik says:

    Katherine, You are one strong woman and thank you for sharing your remarkable post. As others have said it’s hard to not have tears in one’s eyes while reading it.
    Indeed thank Goodness for Kids Help Phone. My husband is a family physician with a fair amount of young teenagers in his practice and he always talks about how many kids come in with low self-esteem and depression and feel like they don’t have anyone to talk to (especially at home). I hope that awareness for the Kids Help Phone continues to grow so that every child knows that they have an option. Thanks so much for sharing.

  9. Ron says:

    Katherine, I have to say that I am truly taken by your courage and openness. I grew up in such a way that men were strong, didn’t show emotion…tears swelled and fell while reading this. Probably because I could relate more than just understand. I’m sorry.

  10. kathy downey says:

    If I saw a child being bullied I would speak up real fast!

  11. kathy downey says:

    Thanks for writing this I have shared with my friends

  12. Elizabeth Matthiesen says:

    Thank you so much for bearing your inner most thoughts, feelings and experiences to us. It can’t have been an easy thing to do. No child (nor adult for that matter) should have to go through things like this, especially kids at such a young age. The Kids Help Phone is a real blessing. I have a friend who works on a help line in England and they even get calls from the USA, so presumably they don’t have the same sort of set up over there.

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