The Terrible Twos are Coming!!

| January 28, 2013 | 1 Comment

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Over the past several months, it has become apparent to me that the Bean is growing, gaining independence and testing limits. She is developing her own sense of self, which is wonderful to see, but also tiring at times. It’s fascinating to discover that your toddler understands what you mean when you say “Bring Mommy your coat please” or “Time to put the blocks back in the box.” However, it’s then frustrating when you ask your toddler to stop jumping on the couch and she continues to bounce around, completely ignoring you. Only when I say “Stop jumping please or TV all gone” does she look at me and slide down onto her bottom slowly….for all of one minute….and then she is up at it again. Off goes the tv and out come the waterworks or whining.

 

Other times, the Bean pushes her limits by pushing other kids, hitting or even worse, biting. She used to just bite her Mommy (I’m so blessed that she saved this gift for me) but in the past month or so, she has several times, pushed other kids at daycare and a couple of times even bit them. It is concerning (not to mention humiliating) to learn that your daughter is a bully but I have been reassured by her daycare provider that it is normal, that my daughter is a good girl and she honestly seems remorseful. When this happens, whether at home or at daycare, she goes in a timeout for around one minute or so. Usually, in timeout she will cry or moan and then try to leave her timeout spot, which means some extra time is tacked on. Afterwards, she does seem very sorry as she gives whoever it is she bullied or misbehaved with, a big hug.

 

Yet, it is still happening. I’m not talking about the misbehaving and testing limits but specifically the biting, hitting and pushing. Sometimes it is hard to tell what she is thinking when these incidents happen, but other times it is clear she is either frustrated, overtired or overexcited. That does not mean she gets a pass, but when it is clear that she was having difficulty with her feelings, I am torn about the type of discipline to apply.

 

A few times I have tried the “time in” concept where you both go to a quiet place and let your child release her feelings and you discuss what happened. It is supposed to reassure and comfort your child to know that you are there for them. When I’ve tried to do this, the Bean has often pushed me away so I actually think for my daughter, a combination of the two is needed. I give her some time alone in a timeout, and then I speak to her about what happened, tell her I love her and ask her to apologize to whomever she has wronged (which means giving them a hug because she can’t actually say sorry yet).

 

Yes, the Bean is still pushing limits but I truly believe she will do this until she develops and grows a bit more and can control her emotions a bit better. I was raised with strict parents so I do try to enforce the concept of respecting your elders, but on the other hand, I do try to find some balance….I mean….she is not even two years old yet! This thought scares me though because I begin to wonder how much longer I will have of this?!? It is important to remind myself though that she and I are both still learning everyday and I do take comfort in knowing that she is just a typical toddler.

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Category: Babies & Toddlers, Blogs, Family, Moms

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  1. kathy downey says:

    I loved the terrible twos,now that they are over

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