Ottawa’s I Am Possible Mother Daughter Conference ~ Nov 3, 2013

| August 19, 2013 | 2 Comments

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When I first became a single Mother in 2002, I was terrified. Growing up, I was surrounded with messages of how incapable I was of supporting myself and a family. At least, that is how my growing mind interpreted statements such as, “I hope you marry someone rich someday, you’ll need him to pay for your expensive tastes.” Another one was, “I hope you find a good husband to take care of you.” When my childrens’ Father moved out, these statements echoed and I was crippled with fear. My oldest daughter was 3 1/2 and my baby girl was 4 months old. My postpartum depression and anxiety was in overdrive. I dropped to about 85 pounds as the stress was just melting me away. The only clothes I could find to fit were size 14 kids. I was a mess.

My inspiration and what helped keep me going toward becoming mentally and physically healthy again was my love for my baby girls. They were watching my every move. For them to grow strong, I had to grow stronger.

My Mother passed away when I was four months old. I was her only child. I still day dream of what she would be like. I still make up stories where she reappears, just like in the movies, after leaving her life as a top secret spy. She was my idol, my mentor, my Mother who I never knew. Yet there was an anger inside. An anger over being left behind. Every time I saw little girls bonding with their Mothers, doing fun family things, I felt angry and sorry for myself.

I knew I didn’t want my daughters to grow up with the same sadness of losing a Mother so I focused on recovering and loving myself and them. I started surrounding myself with positive people. I started reading self help books. I was raised in en environment of negativity and fear. Finding inspiring books that help deprogram old patterns and beliefs are key in my continuing recovery.

Like many Mothers, I want to spare my daughters the pain of making the same mistakes I made. I want to help them find all the tools they need to be their best in every moment. However I have also learned the importance of teaching them that mistakes do not make them a bad person. I don’t want them perceiving themselves as unworthy of love for not fitting the mould of the adults in their lives. I remind them that they always have my love, even when they may do something I am not keen on. Most importantly I am teaching them that the love that matters most comes from within and for any of us to truly love ourselves we must feel good about our lives and the decisions we make. Who we surround ourselves with.

Do they roll their eyes at me? Absolutely. Do they sigh and stomp around sometimes when they don like what’s happening? You bet. I roll my eyes and stomp around sometimes too. Lol. We are all learning together. I am teaching them that just because I am an adult doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes. I promise to always do my best as a Mom and that looks different from day to day. We make a point to have fun together as much as possible. We watch comedies together and we get silly. They tell me I am insane because of my antics. Sometimes cooking dinner looks more like an off Broadway production. My way of having fun in every moment. Something else I am teaching them, thy are responsible for making their lives fun.

Last year I participated in Ottawa’s other Daughter Conference which aims to strengthen the bond and self esteem of mothers and daughters. To help them understand their relationships, invest in healthy communication, understanding and compassion for each other. To raise communication and confidence to strengthen skills for facing life challenges.
We are returning this year and we’ll be sharing some ways we keep communication flowing and stay semi – sane. I have included the link for those who are interested. It is happening on Sunday, November 3, 2013 between 8am and 5pm for girls between the ages of 11 and 15 and their Mothers. Hope to see you there!

http://www.grandmak.ca/services/youth/

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Category: Family, Moms, Relationships, Teens

About the Author ()

How do you rebuild your life after family trauma and during mental health challenges when you feel your grip on hope is slipping? Katherine Dines is on the infinite journey of happiness and learning to thrive with forgiveness & gratitude. Katherine Dines is a Mother and voice actor, based in Canada's Capital, with international credits on projects including Hasbro's Tropical Tycoon Monopoly & Warner Brothers' Friends DVD Trivia Game. Juggling the demands of single parenting since 2002, Katherine is currently sharing her passions on the airwaves of Majic 100.3 FM Radio while navigating opportunities to express through film, tv & internet projects. Love, laughter & inspiring music rank at the top with love for her daughters motivating her enthusiasm for self discovery and healing.

Comments (2)

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  1. Brenda A says:

    Thanks for posting about this. It is new to me and I hope to attend one day when my daughters reach 11.

  2. Fan R says:

    Great event happening in Ottawa, I do not have a daughter otherwise would be nice to join.

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