Almost 2 years now…

| December 16, 2013 | 4 Comments

Mary's first two years have included lots of music :)

As a mother, and I don’t know where the time went. But I think I said that at the one year mark as well. I was lucky enough to stay home with Mary for about 13 months. It was a fun time of outings to the library, weekly playgroup with friends, and reading. We enjoyed a lot of time alone together. It was really nice. Now that I am back to work, I only get to see her between 4pm and her bedtime at 8pm and on weekends. But I am trying to adjust. I make sure to put away my phone when I am with her and I take her on excursions just the two of us on Saturdays. Now that she’s speaking a lot, it’s helpful that she can tell me what she wants or needs. She’s doing well with her evening routines and finally sleeping through the night (most of the time). I feel like everything is falling into place.

So why does the inevitable question, “When are you going to have another baby?” get asked?

Because I am definitely not ready.

It seems that a 2 to 3 year age gap between siblings is common nowadays. I thought at this point I would be thinking about having another child so Mary had a brother or sister around age 3. But I can’t imagine taking more time from her. I already feel guilty enough that she’s away from me for 8-10 hours every week day. I don’t feel like what time I have left after work and before I go to bed could accommodate another little person at this stage. Others can do it. But I can’t.

When I ask Mary questions on this subject, the answer is always “No” – no matter how I word it.

“Do you want a baby in the house?” – No.

“Do you want a brother or sister?” – No.

“Do you want a sibling?” – No.

The last two years have been a blast, and it looks like she’ll have us all to herself for at least another year. And that seems fine by her.

And it’s really fine by me.

How did you decide when the time was right for another baby? Did you have a set age gap in mind? 

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Category: Babies & Toddlers, Family

About the Author ()

Samantha lives in Stittsville with her husband, Jon, and their daughter, Mary. Samantha works full-time for the federal government and also enjoys writing part-time, including as a writer for Ottawa Parenting Times Magazine. Feel free to check out her website – samanthaball.ca and follow her on Twitter @I_Tell_Stories

Comments (4)

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  1. Louise says:

    This is a very personal choice. For us? We knew we wanted two. So as far as “right time” we basically timed it so we wouldn’t have two in full-time daycare because that would have been too expensive. That actually worked pretty well for us – my mat leave year for my second coincided with pre-school for my first – which she wouldn’t have been able to do if I was working full-time. Then my husband (who took the end of the parental leave) returned to work as our eldest started full-day kindgarten (and so just pre and after care daycare, rather than full costs x 2!)

    Best of luck with your decision!

  2. Elizabeth Matthiesen says:

    Yes, I wanted my children to be around 2 years apart – I decided this after having my 1st and found I wanted another when he was about a year old. My children were born in 77, 79, 80, 83, 87, 89 & 92. So even though that’s what I wanted and aimed for it didn’t quite work out as planned but then it hardly ever does. 🙂

  3. Hey Louise – I am leaning towards the same plan if we have another and waiting until Mary is about to enter kindergarten. 🙂

    Elizabeth – you’re right. You can only plan so much….:)

    Thanks for your comments!

  4. kathy downey says:

    I think this is a very personal choice,bringing a new life into the world is a discussion between a couple not anyone else.

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