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Transitions

| September 17, 2014 | 10 Comments

September is definitely a month of transitions – transitioning from summer to fall, from vacation to school, from lazy days to routines. No matter how old your kids are, and whether you’ve done this school thing for years, each year brings a new challenge. My challenge this year, the year that my son starts senior kindergarten full days, isn’t with my son. It’s my daughter. The one left behind.

I chose to take a leave from my job to stay home with my kids. I know this isn’t everyone’s situation, but it’s mine. I’ve been home for the past 3.5 years and my daughter has never been away from me. She’s also used to having her brother around. Two years ago he went to preschool for two mornings a week, which was hard on all of us. He didn’t like being away and didn’t want to go, at least at first. He eventually hit his stride and ended up loving preschool. Two hours two mornings a week isn’t much to entertain a toddler, but last year was a different story when he went to junior kindergarten every afternoon.

Our mornings were the same – out to the library, the park, groceries, or a museum – but our afternoons were a struggle. We would drop him off at the bus right after lunch. By the time we walked home, my daughter was already asking to go back to pick him up. Those 3 hours felt so long. She got used to it – we all did – but she still missed her brother.

This year, we’re not even a full week into the school year, and already I’m finding it hard. Hard to entertain my daughter all day. I’m so used to there being two kids, kids who played together, who only needed refereeing and meals made regularly to survive. Now I’m my daughter’s main playmate. It’s intense.

I’ve signed her up for preschool, the same one my son went to. Two mornings a week for two hours I’m alone and it’s blissful. Those 4 hours are a beautiful thing. The rest of the time, she’s asking when we can go pick up her brother. She’s asking me to read her a book. She’s asking me to play Lego. I never expected that parenting one child would be harder than two, but that’s exactly what I’m saying.

I know we will hit our stride soon enough and I will learn to love our time together. The one-on-one time that my second-born has never had. But right now, during the transition, it’s hard. Our struggles may not be the same as yours, but it’s a transition time for everyone and I wish you luck. May we all find our new normal before losing our minds.

September transitions

 

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Category: Back to School, Family, Kids, Moms, Themes

About the Author ()

Kamerine has been blogging for 10 years, the past four and a half as a mom. She has a 4.5 year old son and a 3 year old daughter who was born at home with only her husband there to help. Completely transformed by that experience Kamerine is now working as a birth doula. She will be writing about her experiences parenting two young children, books her and her children love, and things to do in the city. Author's website.

Comments (10)

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  1. Christine says:

    Oh my! I have a 5 year old who has gone to preschool while her oldest was in school and I can still totally relate.It’s like the second child does not know how to be alone. She is only without her sister at times on weekends when her sister has playdates as she is about to start having her own soon. My yougest started school recently so local playdates have yet to begin…but oh my she needs to be entertained. I become the playmate when her older sister is away. Those hours can feel very long indeed. Other times I realize how little I have actually played with her on her own in her life as her older sister has always been there. It kind of makes me sad a bit. So I say…enjoy it while you can as I can see my 8 year old enjoying friends more than being with us most of the time now. 🙂

    • K says:

      So true! The youngest has always had her brother around. I think that’s pretty typical. I’m trying to be present when it’s just her and me but I still need to get stuff done, you know?

  2. Judy Cowan says:

    Hope you soon find your stride soon. It is nice that she misses her brother so much, shows that they are close 🙂

  3. Elizabeth Matthiesen says:

    It is really nice that she loves her brother so much that she practically misses him every minute he’s away. It’s always more difficult when there’s only one child at home – then you have to amuse them, keep them occupied and interested. Hopefully this phase will soon pass and your daughter will be more able to amuse herself.

  4. Victoria Ess says:

    I hope you (both) find your groove soon! It’s still early.

  5. Louise says:

    Hope you settle into the new groove and routine soon. It’s awesome that you get to spend more one on one time with your youngest – but I can certainly see the challenges if it hasn’t happened up until now :).

  6. kathy downey says:

    Couple of months have pasted hope it all worked out

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